We all feel very different at the onset marriage marriage after 5, 10, 20 and forty years. There are five stages universal marriage and they come one after another in a fixed order. You can not reach the last stage without passing through the first four. Each level is built on its predecessor, and something every stage remains for life. It does not matter how mature a marriage, there will always be periods of withdrawal to the previous stages, especially in times of stress arises again the foundations of previous stages.
1.The honeymoon phase: love at its peak at this time. The couple incredibly romantic. Give your partner each one easily forgets his needs. We present the best of us as your partner. We tend to behave sure about until we feel free to invest in ourselves and ignore the marriage, according to what we think the other person wants. It looks perfect match …. At this point there are a couple important task: formulating the marital dream, this step is built on illusion, but this is exactly what gives us a taste of true love. Those shared experiences and those wonderful romantic feelings they give the couple the power to deal with the vicissitudes of marriage.
This is a step that must pass, and lasts a half to two years.
2.The power struggle: This is a difficult step, but it is designed to get us from a cosmic illusion honeymoon. At “honeymoon” couple went too far in giving proof of ‘connection’ at the expense of giving our Self “, and then, at some point everyone starts to feel:” Wait, but what about me? ” And to correct the lack of Haizonhzh is starting to demand more and give less. Start to do more for itself. Want more living space and at this point start fights and arguments. The main task at this stage is: to learn to deal with the differences that the couple and they create conflict, try to find a middle ground, but it is difficult because each side pulling in his direction and not willing to compromise.
3. Self stage: At this stage the person realizes that the partner is not able to solve all the problems of life, and now requires some personal growth. This is a relatively calm period, in which each party “returning” to himself and cultivate himself. The task here is: be myself in the relationship. The person should develop himself, but not to harm within marriage. Like develop a successful career, etc., but this is a difficult task. In fact it is convenient stage of marriage but because the self is so central here, and most people do not find an optimal balance between self and context, comes the next step to restore the balance.
Step 4. Crisis commitment: here are beginning to take stock, examine the marriage, the spousal relationship sometimes feel inadequate and needs correcting. ” Here the task: rebuilding the bond of marriage, renewal of marriage. People feel that now they must do what is best for them, what they really want. The task of this phase involves finding a new balance between the need for stability and the need for excitement and change. Sometimes people are tempted to change your spouse instead of changing the balance in a marriage.
5.Thereconciliation of opposites, synthesis: The final stage of marriage is conflicting needs air. Couples who come to this point see, first of all, approved of all of them involve your partner’s happiness. At this stage, know very well what is good for one is good for both. Development is seen as an important partner just as your Mhtfthotc. Now there is a combination of “I” with “we”. This solved the fundamental contradiction of marriage, everyone should find satisfying his own needs, but also to respond to the needs of the spouse. The two sides are seen as equally important and both must be met as a constant balance between them.